by David Morgan, Lawrence County Executive
The event will be over when you read this, but at the time of this writing, my family is in the throes of wedding preparations for our first-born.
We’ve worked hard (and invested several dollars) to make the wedding as close to our daughter’s dream as possible. At the same time, we are helping remodel the house they bought to start their married lives in. Stress levels are high, but all will be well by the time you see this column.
Payton is 20, and her groom, Kendall Franklin, is 24. It’s a relatively young age to marry, but I know young marriages can work: Stephanie was 19 when we married, and I was 24. Twenty-two years and five children later, our relationship is happy and healthy.
The key to long-term happiness in marriage, no matter how old you are, is making the right choice in the first place. Picking the right person as your partner in all things is one of the two most important decisions you will make in your life. The other is the choice to make Jesus the foundation of your life. If both people in a relationship have made that decision, and used it to inform their choice of one another, their marriage will succeed. From my viewpoint as a father and pastor, I feel very good about the future for Payton and Kendall and am so proud of them both.
I am a strong advocate for marriage. It is vital to our culture, which is based on three great institutions: the home, church, and state. Church and state were formed by men; home and family through the infinite wisdom of an all-knowing God. When people are weakened by the absence of a strong home, church and state suffer.
Decisions about marriage and family are deeply personal. But single-parent households are much more likely to suffer from poverty, giving children limited access to good physical and mental health care, support services, and activities that grow their mind, body, and spirit.
A parent on their own has higher stress levels for many reasons, creating even more challenges for their children.
When God forms the foundation of a marriage, men and women are better able to model the love and forgiveness that sustains them and creates a safe, stable place for children to mature. For the same reasons, married couples are usually happier as individuals.
Our community benefits from marriage as well. The Institute for Family Studies reports “there is a substantial divide in community activities between married and unmarried adults. This is not just an artifact of age or education differences either. Married adults between the ages of 25 to 49 are far more likely to attend a community meeting, do local volunteer work, and visit a library. They talk to new people in their communities more often as well.”
Unfortunately, some government policies around taxes and benefit programs penalize people who get married. I believe we should ask our lawmakers to make changes that reward marriage. Another thing we can do is encourage our schools and churches to teach the “success sequence.” People who graduate high school, get a full-time job or enter college, and marry before they have children – almost always avoid poverty and can provide for themselves and their families.
Most importantly, we can pray for the success of every marriage that touches our lives. I solicit yours for this newest marriage in my family.
